productive.

so in the last couple of months i've realized that i'm nowhere near where i want to be in life at this time and age. I find myself constantly day dreaming and contemplating where i should be at the present time, but can't seem to decipher what exactly is holding me back from my goals and dreams. I mean i see them, i know where i want to go, i'm trying to reach out for them but can't even seem to grasp the reach of my own reality. it's confusing and very stressful. my life consists mostly of drinking and smoking lately and for that reason i made the promise to myself to quit these bad habits until i get my act together, if not indefinitely. i'm not doing this as a self righteous act or some sort of rebellion, or for anybody for that matter. its all being done for myself. reason being; when it all comes down to it, the only person in the world you have to prove anything to is yourself. so thats what i intend to do in the next coming months, i plan to be nothing but productive and anybody who thinks differently and wants to hold me back, you can kindly step out of my life because your not helping me 'nor do i need you in any way shape or form.