productive.

so in the last couple of months i've realized that i'm nowhere near where i want to be in life at this time and age. I find myself constantly day dreaming and contemplating where i should be at the present time, but can't seem to decipher what exactly is holding me back from my goals and dreams. I mean i see them, i know where i want to go, i'm trying to reach out for them but can't even seem to grasp the reach of my own reality. it's confusing and very stressful. my life consists mostly of drinking and smoking lately and for that reason i made the promise to myself to quit these bad habits until i get my act together, if not indefinitely. i'm not doing this as a self righteous act or some sort of rebellion, or for anybody for that matter. its all being done for myself. reason being; when it all comes down to it, the only person in the world you have to prove anything to is yourself. so thats what i intend to do in the next coming months, i plan to be nothing but productive and anybody who thinks differently and wants to hold me back, you can kindly step out of my life because your not helping me 'nor do i need you in any way shape or form.

hide and seek.

Where are we? What the hell is going on? The dust has only just
begun to fall, Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling. Spin me round again and rub my eyes. This can't be happening. When busy streets a mess with people would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek. Trains and sewing machines. All those years they
were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls where pleasure moments hung before. The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this still life.

Hide and seek. Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won't catch
me around here) Blood and tears, They were here first.

Mmm, what you say? Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course
you did. Mmm, what you say? Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah of course it is. Mmm, what you say? Mm, that it's just what we need? And you decided this. Mmm, what you say? What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.Mid-sweet talk,
newspaper word cut-outs.Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth. Mid-sweet talk,
newspaper word cut-outs. Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you. You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit. You don't care a
bit. You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.