Saturday, February 28, 2009

a piece of realization.

today was a day to remember. i can honestly say i felt blissful for the first time in a long time. it was short lived but great. some friends and i indulged in an out of body experience. i grew closer to one of my friends, who's a great friend already but after today i see him as more of a brother and i love him very much. we opened up to each other, told stories and shared aspects of our lives we haven't shared with anyone. it felt really rewarding venting to someone who genuinely cares for me. we walked on the sands of my heaven on earth or (the beach) for everyone else and i just zoned out, enjoying the breeze and taking in the beautiful sight that is the ocean. i had a sudden intuitive perception of my life, or an epiphany if you will, just thinking about my life in different ways. processing how it was then, how it is now, and how it might possibly be in the coming years. i realized i missed certain feelings i once had. nostalgic about them even. a big one i missed, was being in love. not necessarily who i was in love with but just the overall feelings you receive from having such a strong emotional connection with another human being. its a legit sensation that simply can not be duplicated. i'm thankful for having had that chance to embrace its utter joy. even though it didn't end in a 'happily ever after', it was still an insightful journey that i took a lot from. speaking of the subject my 'love' life (or lack there of) is sort of at a stand still at the moment. girls have come and gone, but as great as they all were, none of them gave me that spark. they didn't mesmerize me every time i stared into their eyes. kind of stopped looking due to the fact that i haven't found anyone vaguely interesting in a long while. pondering whether or not i'd find a girl, someone recently came back into my life about a day or two ago. i missed her dearly, and to my surprise, she still gives me butterflies. she even makes me weak at my words. my world is kind of dark, and she's the light in my eyes. i'm really hoping she brightens up my days.