you're all talk

i see i was all talk because i haven't done anything in the past couple months except waste fucking valuable time ! not only mine but other people's as well and it pisses me off because i know i'm so much stronger than this, i have so much will power that i'm choosing not to use for some reason that's even beyond me. it's ridiculous. FUCK YOU MANDO!! wake the fuck up before you're an old grumpy mother fucker with nothing to his name. bottom line baby boy, GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT and show yourself you can fucking do it! and DO IT.

changes.

"i see no changes, wake up in the morning and i ask myself, is life worth living should i blast myself?"

from now until next year i will be re-shaping myself physically and mentally.

when i am finished, the world will be surprised.

...it's for the best, don't worry.

kid cudi.

can't tell you how much i feel and relate to his music

boy < girl

when i met you i was scared to know you

when i knew you i was scared to like you

when i liked you i was scared to love you

now that i love you i'm scared to lose you

music.

i love you
is what i say to you
to every person to every thing
we were always true happines and always small flings

i played you countless times
yet i still called you mine

you sometimes brought me to tears
even helped rid me of some fears
you drive my life through the good and the bad
always here for me, happy or sad

i wish we didn't have to part
we've been together from the start
but forever you live on
even after we're gone
i love you forever and always on




-mando ds

as of now.

my life never seizes to surprise me at the randomest times. whether it be pleasant or unpleasant it's still a surprise, and needless to say it keeps my life interesting and worth living. as the saying goes " you learn something new everyday" i think i learn something new about myself everyday and oh my! the secrets i've come to learn about myself. it's almost as if i'm this perplexity of personalities that gives birth to me as a whole but i'm slowly learning the times these other said "mando's" like to show themselves, rarely are they all together at one given time. except for maybe in my dreams and that would explain why there so vivid and hard to comprehend or disinguish a meaning in them, at least from the portions of the ones i can remember. i'm sort of rambling on i'll just say i'm getting more in touch with myself, which i think will let me get more in touch with everyone else and sort of open up more personally.

progression.

finally i see the light at the end of the tunnel.
i've been pushing and striving to get through all of the bullshit i got myself into recently, but i'm almost out of the ruff patch i hit, i'm so close i can feel it. so ready to take my life off of pause and get it started again. basically this year is going to consist mainly of
school,
work,
and bettering MYSELF.

just me and i.

someone hold hands with me
walking to the city of insanity
that's my place to be.
irregular and unseen that's my sanity
the few I've let in know my personality
no turning back now it's become reality
I yelled for help! no one listened, just an unheard tragedy.
kind of sad ta see a young boy mislead livin in poverty
strugglin through depression and a hateful humanity
he's gonna strive through so happily
he's gonna make it one day you just wait and see

love of mine.

someday you'll be mine

strongly hoping.

that things are looking up for me. optimist as always and it seems to always pull through.

we'll see.

good things are coming

..good things

heart broken.

wow.......... < / 3

what's worse is she has no idea, or doesn't seem to care.

not totally her fault anyways, i blame myself.

waiting on the world to change.

or really just myself and some of the people around me. i don't see how things can go from good and getting better to just complete shit in the blink of an eye! it's mind blowing. i find myself seriously debating on having my mind set back to just money and myself, things seemed more simple when i had no expectations of people and i just disappeared. i had walls before but they just got reinforced to the extreme! it'd be remarkable to see someone slip right through them. doubt that's gonna happen though.

D U I

shit happens

fml!

random oddity.

i like eating nacho cheese doritos with milk late at night. 

forever in our lives.

love?

so i don't want to give a title to what i feel for this girl but its beginning to look a lot like 'title', i met her about 4 years ago; give or take and to this day i still light up everytime i see her like ridiculousy! i can't help but have this ear to ear smile when i'm with her. when isn't she on my mind? rarely am i intimidated by the opposite sex, but in this case intimidated is what i am. i really want to see where this is going to go, not to mention almost all of my friends want it to happen already. don't think i'm quite ready for it though, hopefully i will be shortly and she'll still be there

mr. brightside.

on the upside of things, i've accomplished three out of ten goals(3/10) i've set for myself and i'm super stoked about it. planning on finishing all ten before this year is through and setting another ten if not twenty goals! my life at this point is going up, hit one small bump but already climbing back up from it. far as being alienated from everybody goes, i'm kind of coming back out of my own head but not quite i still have to get my head right and its nowhere near ready.

hopefully soon...

shit happens.

seriously i used to throw this phrase around without a care in the world but fuck, shit really does happen when you're careless and not thinking straight. did something i never thought i would do, ever. won't happen again but its just crazy thinking about it. a hypocrite is something i thought i'd never be haha guess not!

so weird.

i'm actually really content with my life right now.
ALMOST happy, i'll reach it soon.

working man.

this income and productive use of time should make a huge difference.

finally!